TODDLER
Positive Parenting: Setting Limits for Your Child
Learn how to effectively address your child's bothersome behaviors.
Written by
Dr. Harvey Karp
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PARENT PICKS
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TODDLER
Written by
Dr. Harvey Karp
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Bestsellers
Let's talk about Yellow Light Behaviors—the annoying things your toddler does, like whining, begging, pouting and interrupting—that can that BUG THE HECK out of you, especially if you’re tired or stressed. But when you master a few positive parenting techniques, you’ll be thrilled to see how quickly you and your tot can turn conflicts back into cooperation!
It is not easy to keep your cool. Your child’s annoying and defiant behavior may even call up bad memories from your own childhood, causing your temper to flare and making you overreact. But when you connect with respect (using the Fast Food Rule and Toddler-ese), look for Win-Win Compromises (instead of getting locked into stubborn won’t-wont struggles), and enforce mild consequences like the clap-growl and kind ignore techniques discussed in The Happiest Toddler on the Block, your toddler will begin to cooperate. The key to having a happy home is to set clear and consistent limits. Limits teach toddlers the difference between right and wrong, safety and danger and so on.
Setting clear limits is super important. We all want to raise our children with humility and kindness, but we also need show courage and resolve. Start each day with love, but when your child pushes, limits that are important so you…don’t cave in. When push comes to shove (and shove to bite!) you must caringly, respectfully use your power to keep order.
How to Set Limits Effectively
Smart parents also know how to pick their battles. Some limits are impossible to enforce. For example, it may be impossible to make your tot eat broccoli, poop on the potty, or overcome fears.
So when you see you’re getting into a struggle that you can’t win, switch from giving warnings to using some good old charm, compromise and positive parenting methods.
Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider. Breastmilk is the best source of nutrition for babies. It is important that, in preparation for and during breastfeeding, mothers eat a healthy, balanced diet. Combined breast- and bottle-feeding in the first weeks of life may reduce the supply of a mother's breastmilk and reversing the decision not to breastfeed is difficult. If you do decide to use infant formula, you should follow instructions carefully.
