TODDLER
Boosting Cooperation With Win-Win Compromises
Learn how to positively affect your toddlers behavior with this simple technique.
Scritto da
Dr. Harvey Karp
CONDIVIDI QUESTO ARTICOLO
SCELTE DEI GENITORI
Bestseller
TODDLER
Scritto da
Dr. Harvey Karp
CONDIVIDI QUESTO ARTICOLO
Bestseller
One of our ultimate goals as a parent is not to win any one particular fight, but rather to win your child’s love and respect for a lifetime. That’s why it’s best to 1st - acknowledge your tot’s desire and 2nd –try to find a way you both can win…even when you disagree with him! All around the world, people hash out agreements by hard bargaining… and toddlers love to negotiate. They quickly learn bargaining tactics, like begging (Please? P-l-e-a-s-e!!!), exaggeration (You never let me!), pouty protests (You’re not fair!) and noticing inconsistency (But you let her do it!). Your tot will probably use these tools of persuasion on you - every single day – as he tries to get you to compromise! Most of us consider a 50-50 compromise to be pretty fair: half for you, half for me. But that’s not how toddlers see things. Their idea of a fair compromise is around 90-10 (you get a tiny bit of what you want and he gets the 90 percent!). That’s because toddlers focus so much on what they don’t get, their primitive little minds have trouble sharing…and seem pretty demanding. The best parents are good at figuring out Win – Win compromises – where your tot feels good about getting a lot of what he wants…and you also get some of what you want. This simple approach can be boiled down to these 3 steps:
Here’s an example. Imagine you want your son, Sam, to eat 10 peas and he refuses, demanding his favourite crackers instead:
If Sammy totally refuses to eat any peas, sincerely acknowledge what he wants, but then let him leave the table. He won because he didn’t eat the peas and you won because he left…without the crackers. Pause on negotiations so you can save face, and helps him see that stubbornness won’t get him what he wants. As he leaves (or when he cries in protest) say, “You say no peas! Not even one! That makes Mommy sad but okay, you win. So no crackers for now and you go play. I’ll check on you in a little bit. Bye-bye.” Speed your child’s learning by giving extra opportunities to compromise. For example, offer peas a few days in a row, even during lunch. Most kids soon accept a 90-10 deal and you will be delighted to se that the struggles get easier and easier as your tot starts to like making ‘win-win’ deals with you. This may seem like a big effort, but all your extra work now will soon lead to you having a happier, more patient – and fairer – child. For more information on win-win compromises and other toddler tips, see The Happiest Toddler On The Block.
Avvertenza: Le informazioni presenti sul nostro sito NON sono consigli medici per alcuna persona specifica o condizione. Sono solo intese come informazioni generali. Se avete domande o preoccupazioni mediche riguardo vostro figlio o voi stessi, si prega di contattare il vostro fornitore di assistenza sanitaria. Il latte materno è la migliore fonte di nutrizione per i neonati. È importante che, in preparazione e durante l'allattamento al seno, le madri seguano una dieta sana ed equilibrata. L'allattamento misto (seno e biberon) nelle prime settimane di vita può ridurre la produzione di latte materno e la decisione di non allattare al seno può essere difficile da invertire. Se decidete di utilizzare il latte artificiale per neonati, dovreste seguire attentamente le istruzioni.
