19 Unofficial Baby Milestones for New Parents

We all know about the regular baby milestones to look out for, like Baby taking those first steps and saying their first words. But truth be told, there are a lot of baby milestones out there that do not get any play in parenting books. These are the unofficial baby milestones: Some are sweet and sentimental, others are funny, and some are downright disgusting. But it really would not be parenting without them! Here are 19 baby milestones you might not have been expecting!

The Pee-on-the-Parents Baby Milestone

It will be a surprise. It will be gross. You will probably LOL (especially if you are not the victim). And you can bet, it will happen again!

The Shopping-Buddy Baby Milestone

The day you get to do your grocery run with your small partner in crime sitting in the cart, smiling at you…well, that is better than anything you would find in their (admittedly amazing) Dollar Spot.

The Nappy-Blowout Baby Milestone

And you thought the pee was gross. Wait until Baby’s projectile poo shoots straight out of their nappy and up their back, leaving you both stinky and dazed. And, life being the way it is, this milestone will likely strike when you are in line at the grocery store. Good news: Next time you will be totally prepared.

The Unsolicited and Unwanted Advice Baby Milestone

You might be minding your own business, pushing your stroller or (finally!) enjoying a coffee at your favourite spot with Baby in tow. Perhaps you will be anxiously trying to calm your crying baby in a parking lot. Wherever you are, you certainly will not need to hear one bit of the out-of-nowhere parenting advice a perfect stranger will offer you. (Brief seething and ignoring is encouraged.)

The Squeeze-Back Baby Milestone

You have been kissing and hugging your precious toddler from minute one and, oh boy, when your baby hugs you back for the first time... Sweetest. Moment. Ever.

The Pukes-on-a-Visitor Baby Milestone

The day you forget the burp cloth is the day your little nugget spits up all over your mum, your friend, your boss…anyone who has sweetly asked to hold your baby.  

The Flipping-You-The-Bird Baby Milestone

Surprise! Babies often (accidentally?) give you the finger. We are sure they do not mean it. But definitely snap a picture of one of our favourite funny baby moments!

The Babysitter Baby Milestone

Woo-hoo! It is date night! And there is someone watching the baby who is not you. Deep breaths…this will be fun. Promise! 

The Poos-in-the-Tub Baby Milestone

You know it will happen…you just do not know when. And, honestly, you are never really prepared. (Perhaps this is why sponge baths were invented.)

The Food-Fight Baby Milestone

One day, you are spoon-feeding your baby, watching them yum or yuck all the new flavours they are experiencing. The next day, your baby swipes that spoon, tosses it on the floor. It makes a big noise, food splatters everywhere, Baby is delighted! Welcome to your new mealtime ritual. 

The What is-In-Your-Mouth?! Baby Milestone

As soon as babies are on the move, all sorts of gross floor-findings wind up in their mouths. Fur balls, dog food…the plunger! (Note to self: Babyproof, ASAP.)

The Wee Greeter Baby Milestone

Now that you have got a baby as a sidekick, you are used to people smiling and waving at your little one. Then—bam!—one day, your baby enthusiastically returns all those smiles with a joyous Baby wave! Heart melting.

The Road Trip Baby Milestone

Short trips to the grocery store or that 30-minute drive to Grandma’s: You have got those rides down pat. But the day you load your baby (the bottles, the nappies, even SNOO) into the car for an honest-to-goodness rest-stops-and-all road trip, you have leveled up!

The Photo Fail Baby Milestone

Whether it is the baby-in-a-pumpkin setup or a seemingly simple family picture, things will go wrong. Not always. But enough. There will be tears, or spit up, or poo, or pee. In the end, though, you will love those photo 'fails,' too. Seriously.

The Smiles-for-a-Picture Baby Milestone

All the photo fails are worth finally snapping a picture of your baby flashing a big, gummy smile. It is just Too Much Cuteness.

The DJ Baby Milestone 

As the parent, you are in charge of the music. That is one of the perks. Then, suddenly, your little one shows you—through squeals, shoulder shimmies, and claps—which song is the Best Song. And, well, now Baby’s the DJ.

The Boo-Boo Baby Milestone

With their newly-acquired walking skills, Baby is bound to have some accidents. The first one, no matter how minor, will startle you. What will also startle you? How quickly little ones bounce right back and try again!

The Tantrum Baby Milestone

It may be sooner, it may be later, but often when toddlers reach about 18 months, the tantrums roll in. Brace yourself…not necessarily for the meltdown, but for the reason behind the meltdown. You peeled the banana wrong! The water is wet! The sippy cup is blue! (You know what helps? Learning Toddler-ese.)

The Accidental-Curse Baby Milestone

Toddlers mispronounce words. That is totally normal. And when they mispronounce as an expletive, well, that is just golden. (You will never look at a truck or a duck the same.) Warning: Once you laugh at these types of funny baby milestones, they will happen again and again!

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